Porn Proofing Kids

How to Talk to Your Children

HOW IT WORKS

The intentional parenting of healthy sexuality requires two skills:

  1. Learn how to take your child’s “sexual understanding” temperature.
  2. When you have identified a “lack of understanding” fever administer an appropriate healthy sexuality booster. 

Consider yourself the nurse or doctor that must administer the actual immunization – booster for preventing pornography use. Others cannot do this for you. You are the parent or grandparent and part of intentional parenting is you learning how to ask your child questions and when necessary administer a healthy sexuality booster.

TAKE YOUR CHILD’S TEMPERATURE 

How else will you know if they’re sick?

Questions are the best thermometer to determine if your child/teen has a “fever” – a lack of sexual understanding.

  • First: ASK -WHAT…..? Identify a sexual message from TV, print, billboard, music, video game, cereal box, news, etc etc. Ask a what question like “What did that message just say?” “What do you think that message means?” You may add other questions like “Why… would they be saying that?” or “Where … did you learn that?” 
  • Second: SAY NOTHING (That’s right shut-up): LISTEN with the intent to discern which Booster and how strong of Booster Dose your child may require-usually at a later time.
  • Third: TEACH. Deliver the Booster. Perhaps right then and there, perhaps next week, Perhaps in a personal interview with your child.

Common sense can be the best source to know what questions to ask. Intentional parenting requires the parent to Take the temperature BEFORE they deliver a Healthy Sexuality Booster. Media Literacy provides examples of how to ask questions related to media. To learn more about Media Literacy check out:  Media and Digital Literacy: Resources for Parents.

DIRECTIONS FOR ADMINISTERING

HEALTHY SEXUALITY BOOSTERS

AS NEEDED-P.R.N. 

Boosters are administered in any order, with different dosages and frequency.  In today’s world a 10 year old who had just been molested by an older cousin may need some very detailed information about the selected Healthy Sexuality Boosters. On the other hand a teen who has no interest in video games, TV, or smartphones has no need for a different Healthy Sexuality Boosters. Generally, your child should receive at least one of the Healthy Sexuality Boosters each day! For example, as you and your 17 year old daughter are listening to a rather sexual song,  you may pause to take her temperature by asking a question about certain lyrics. She may need a Booster.  Or you’re you and your 10 year old son are watching a movie and a Victoria Secret commercial comes on. You may pause to take his temperature by asking a question about what the commercial is trying to sell. He may need a Booster. 

Remember:

 “Our children learn when they are ready to learn, not just when we are ready to teach them.“

Caution: Too many boosters with too much information (too high of a dose)- can sexualize and overwhelm your child. For example, you could create an unnatural interest in sex too early. However, too few boosters with not enough content (too low a dose) fails to provide sufficient immunity to effectively deal with the pornography plague.  Like Ebola, Satan’s misuse of God’s sexual response can kill you-spiritually.

Common sense and an intentional parent can discern when and how much is required.

START YOUNG AND NEVER STOP 

Sexual messaging is everywhere…even Church. Remember the time when a teen in your congregation was wearing a dress so short “you could see her butt.” Be prepared to administer a Booster to a toddler as well as a young adult. Boosters are administered most frequently with “words”. Be alert to sexual messaging on tv, video games, radio, music, billboards, advertising, Internet, etc etc -Pause the tv, video game, the conversation etc etc and deliver the Booster by asking a question–What did they just say? Followed by What do you think that means? Or think of your own questions.

Common sense and an intentional parent can discern how a booster is administered.

BOOSTERS CAN HURT 

Remember the old concept of “boosters?” You go to the doctors, expose your butt cheek, the nurse says this is going to hurt, and you get the shot. The shot hurts. How many of your kids want shots? Boosters? Exactly NONE!  Many times this is true for administering  Healthy Sexuality Boosters. Your children may NOT want to talk about it. Or become oppositional to receiving your booster etc etc – Doesn’t matter. They need the boosters. (Be careful you do not become preachy and churchy in the delivery of a Booster.)

Common sense and an inspired clever parent can administer a booster even when the child is resistant.

USE WORDS 

Typically “Words” are the “syringes” used to inject the Booster.  (Others are delivered by your example.) If you’re not asking questions and teaching you are not immunizing your child. The most powerful way to create a Booster Discussion is by “taking their temperature” asking clever questions. If you have difficulty doing this, consider the fact that you may have some personal issues to work through. You will have to learn to do hard things if you are to successfully inoculate your child.

EXAMPLE OF NOT FOLLOWING BOOSTER DIRECTIONS 

A Youth Pastor recalled a situation where taking the temperature of his youth group would have been the right thing to do- but he refused saying “No way would I ask any question about sexual messaging while I’m with my youth.”  He went on to share his story. He and a few of his youth were on a bus going on a retreat. A group of the youth were giggling in the back seat as they drove by a bill board displaying a sexual message about breast enlargement. Needless to say the Youth Leader overheard a few sexual comments but failed to ‘take their temperature” ask any questions. He could have asked a question maybe something like: Why are you girls giggling about that bill board? What message is that bill board sending? This story illustrates the ability to “take the temperature” without immediately administering any boosters.  

PERFECT PORN PROOFING PROCESS

  • Identifies an intentional parent as the primary delivery system.
  • Includes current scientific research about sexual related topics. 
  • Is comprehensive in identifying the necessary and sufficient “skills and knowledge“.
  • Provides a simple, practical, and flexible curriculum that a average parent can teach.
  • Focuses on the glory and beauty of virtue -healthy sexuality not the hell and ugliness of porn addiction. 

Oh yea, one more observation.

“Porn Proofing My Kid” is a focused approach. It does not include ALL general parenting skills. For example, there are some parenting skills essential for good parenting and yet not discussed in the Porn Proofing Curriculum. Here are some examples.

  • Ability to teach.  I assume you are a capable parent doing your best at parenting/grand parenting. If you are not go find some resources.
  • Testimony of the Gospel.  I assume you are Christian and have a belief in God. If you do not go find some resources to strengthen your belief in God.   
  • Ability to communicate with your children. I assume you are doing your best at talking to your children and getting them to talk to you. If you and your child cannot talk about school, church and friends you are not ready to talk to them about sexual relations. If you cannot talk to your kids, go find some resources.

 

WARNING
The Porn Proofing My Kid’ boosters target sexual and other inappropriate behaviors.  It is expected that parents would continue in wholesome spiritual, physical and family activities activities.  Using our medical analogy, Boosters do not replace healthy nutrition, restful sleep, vitamins etc

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