I was in meeting in Tucson Arizona last Sunday. My wife and I were down watching our grandchildren.  The teacher talked about Larry Y. Wilson’s talk “Only upon the Principles of Righteousness.”  The content was very impressive. One of the phrases in this article that caught my attention was:

Wise parents prepare their children to get along without them. They provide opportunities for growth as children acquire the spiritual maturity to exercise their agency properly.

Letting go of a child, or any other loved-one, allowing them to experience consequences can be very difficult.

As a mental health professional people understanding and living by this concept alone would reduce my business by 1/2 –  The other half would be reduced if the Internet disappeared.  That’s right no codependence and no porn and I’d be looking for another job!

An individual becoming so preoccupied and worried about someone else’s salvation is a major contributor to emotional distress, like depression.  For some reason this is a terribly difficult principle to teach-and to live. How to you teach an individual “the line” where nurturing and direction stops and agency and independence begins? And at what age and for what behavior?

These are very difficult questions for even the most competent person.

Jacob talks about his “firmness in the Spirit” being “shaken” and “stumbling” because “My over anxiety for you.”  (Jacob 4:18) To me this suggests as Jacob was preaching to the wicked Nephites against sexual concerns  he was aware  of  “the line” – on one side he was fulfilling his responsibility as a prophet and on the other side if not careful he could become so preoccupied and worried about (over anxiety) saving the Nephites he might jeopardize his own salvation!  Typically, the side of the line seeking control is viewed dysfunctional and referred to as “Codependency.”